Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Grief was my teacher

We talk about the Valley of Grief that consumes us at Hospice Muskoka.
Once grief or any trauma enters your life you are changed. In this Valley everything overwhelms you from big changes (moving) to small events. I found, when grieving my mother's loss, that any small thing like bumping into something, or accidentally hurting myself, I experienced an uncontrollable anguish. I would grieve my loss again, as my emotions overwhelm.  Perceived hurts, whether true or imagined, cause overreactions like crying that I just couldn't explain. Now I understand that I was in the Valley. What I needed was a ladder to help me climb out. Instead, I kept working and ended up in a major depression.

Grief can arise around any losses: divorce - loss of family, loss of a loved one, loss of a home, moving, or any other change. I read a great deal about this when dealing with students. Elizabeth K├╝bler-Ross wrote a great deal that makes sense for me. My 25-year teaching career helped me put the pieces together.

"You can't find peace until you find the pieces."
"Who loves you when you need them? - that's your family."

Being an adoptee, I know that family are the people that surround you with unconditional love.

1 comment:

Red said...

Here I am again with a comment on adoption. Since this post covers loss and grief I have read that the separation of child from mother at birth causes grief even at that young age. Have you read Primal Scream?
Both my children are adopted and I quite often talk about adoption with my daughter.

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